Skip to main content

Bukan mudah

Orang tanya aku,
Dalam banyak – banyak sakit, sakit apa yang paling sakit?
Aku jawab, sakit gigi.
Keduanya aku jawab sakitnya dibahagian yang aku sakit seperti kepala.
Itu semua benar dan hampir semua orang sudah laluinya
Dan sudah lali.

Tapi,
Sedalam-dalamnya bagi aku,
Benda paling sakit adalah, kehilangan.
Melihat orang yang engkau sayang, jauh dari engkau,
Itu sakit.
Melihat orang yang kau sayang dan kau tahu dia bukan milik engkau,
Itu sangat sakit.
Melihat orang yang kau sayang dan kau tak mampu untuk bertegur sapa dengan dia,
Itu maha sakit.
Melihat orang yang kau sayang jauh dari engkau,
tinggalkan kau dan cari orang lain dan buang kau begitu sahaja,
Itu dewa segala sakit.

Mencuba untuk melupakan sesuatu kenangan itu bukanlah mudah.
Kerana otak kata lupakan, hati kata jangan.
Hati ini sejenis yang suka mengingat.
Sekali manusia usik dan sudah buat kau bahagia, itu mungkin kau ingat untuk selamanya.
Sedangkan itu adalah hanya sementara.
Sebab itu kita disuruh jaga hati.
Sebab everything starts from heart.

Sejujurnya,
Bukan mudah untuk kau tahan tangan dari tidak whatsapp dan bertanya khabar tentang dia,
Bukan mudah untuk kau menahan akal fikiran kau ingat orang yang pernah buat kau tersenyum,
Bukan mudah untuk kau menahan tangan supaya tidak membuka instagram dan melihat perkembangan dia.
Bukan mudah.

Tipulah kalau tak rindu,
Tipulah.
Hati kau bukannya batu,
Hati kau bukannya kayu,
Hati kau bukannya besi.
Kau mana boleh tipu hati kau.
Sedangkan hati kau sudah tahu.
Itu dikira kau sudah tipu diri kau sendiri, kan?


Ps: selamat hari lahir buat diri sendiri. Kehilangan seseorang yang kau sayang adalah suatu permulaan buat kau untuk jadi lebih matang dan memilih insan yang boleh bersama kau (sahabat) sebenar-benarnya. Tabahlah hati. Move on itu tidak semudah kata-kata. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Thank you.

Some people come into our lives and barely leave a trace; others leave a string of footprints etched upon our heart, letting us know they are with us every step we take. Life, sometimes it pulls the rug from under our feet. Suddenly, we find ourselves broken and unable to get back up. When I thought all hopes had gone, you were always there to sweep me off of my feet, dust me down and tell me everything is going to be okay. When everyone else had left me, you were the only one still cheering and giving me that little piece of hope to carry on. Well, that’s what real friends do, right? They are like glue that holds us together when we feel like we are falling apart. They are the anchor to keep us away. They are the wind beneath our wings, keeping us going when we feel like giving up. --- My 2nd semester, I met a bunch of people who I’d called them best friends. They came into my life and had taught me this one thing – the meaning of friendship is. My life in my 2nd semester went...

It is normal to feel lost.

Feeling lost, it doesn't mean you are hopeless. Sit down, take a deep breath and relax. First, don't compare yourself with others who have it all. Do not rush to become a better version of yourself. It takes some time - take your time to develop yourself.  Personally, it took me a really long time to be comfortable with myself. But then, I am still clueless. I am still afraid of what is coming next. But, I taught myself that it is fine to feel lost because this is part of my journey - to discover new thing in life and I should be grateful that I still have chance to develop myself. I put my trust on myself that I'll be back in my right track and everything will be fine.  You know, being lost is not a bad thing yet it is a chance for you  to develop yourself, as long as you have your plan to get back on track. If you are reading this, and feeling lost, I hope you will find your inner peace and don't forget to learnt to practice self-love. Because of what? Because you des...

Time flies --

Time flies too fast; I almost done my 2nd semester in matriculation program; my life changed drastically. I felt like I was suffocating most of the time having to cope with so many teenage hood obligations. Too many little thing have to be taken care of, the sudden need of having to socialize, and make new friends because my study schedule slowly paralyzing my ability to withstand the pressure. My college works have shaken my introverted self and everyday was tiring. A part of that, I failed to keep in touch with so many people whom I dearly care and close with. I have forgotten so many important dates; birthday etc. Stress is just a word because everyone been through it. But waking up after falls down is a struggle. Then I started questioning myself, my passion, by doing the same things over and over again. I lost my compassionate self at times and cried when it got to severe with emotional burden of being alone at a place where I have no one to rely but myself. People d...